After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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