THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
