real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
