i don't plan on having that self control this summer
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
