Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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