Where is the hickey?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
