There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize