have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
