She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Holy sore nipples Batman
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
