I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
