Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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