I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
