I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
