Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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