Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
