apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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