Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
