i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
