he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
