Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
They have beer where we have blood.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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