the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
