you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
zippers are such a cool invention
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
