i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She's JV to your varsity
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
