Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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