In the future we'll all be gay
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
