I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
