that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My feet surprised me
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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