Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
All the doctor said was why
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
