try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
