We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
