can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize