i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Lo siento on account of my penis...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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