I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I am one with the molecules
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
