More tranny stories later!
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize