Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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