i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
