i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i believe in u and ur pee
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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