I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
