I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
