Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize