they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
