She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
