I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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