Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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