Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
