No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Randomize