i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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