yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
