Screwed.edu
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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