I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize