I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
