I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
