i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
