we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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