To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
