I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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