my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
