i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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