Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
