I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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