gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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