So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
