with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
