I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
